joe & julio

I ask Joe what it’s like to know you have someone in your corner no matter what: “It’s the best feeling in the entire world.” Early in their relationship they bonded over the death of Joe’s nephew who Joe was caring for. For almost a decade after Julio moved to the States he sent most of his earnings back home. I ask Julio what it’s like to give money to family on a regular basis and how it changes the relationship: “My mother didn’t always spend it like I wanted her to but I would do it again.” There are tears in his eyes. I ask both of them what it was like during the AIDS epidemic – before there were treatments and knowledge that made the disease more manageable and less deadly. Joe spent quite a bit of money burring friends because their families wouldn’t. If you started showing symptoms, you would lose your job, get evicted, or even kicked out of restaurants. He asks me to imagine: “Barely anyone outside the community gave a shit and you almost certainly died if you got it.” I try to relate by contrasting this sentiment with the solidarity of today’s pandemic in developed nations.

Joe grew up Catholic just outside of Boston. Julio grew up in Ecuador and made his way to the US because his brother had gone before him and he was looking to make some money so he could move to Spain. Julio wanted to live somewhere that was more accepting and that was also Spanish-speaking. He tells me that he taught himself how to a fighter by talking to himself out loud starting at the age of seven. Early on Joe wanted to be a priest but struggled with the fact that he knew he was gay and the institution did not accept his sexuality. And so Joe trained to be a hairdresser and through this met people who got him interested in real estate and hospitality. Julio and Joe met in Boston when Joe was working at a bar and then one night Julio walked in with a friend. They instantly sensed a connection and so Joe invited Julio to dinner at his apartment. Joe had a florist decorate the entire apartment with flowers and cooked an extravagant dinner. Julio showed up with a plastic shopping bag full of fresh cherries. They spent the night together and have been in love ever since.

[29] Thursday, June 10, 2021