kaotar

I introduce myself to Kaotar speaking in formal German, assuming she’s not from Basel. Turns out she is and her Swiss German is way better than mine. In addition to German, Kaotar speaks Arabic, French, and English. She is open, warm, and sincere from the very start. As I’m firing off test shots, still wrestling with the exposure and trying to get the light right, Kaotar locks eyes with the lens and poses gracefully.

Kaotar’s parents are from Morocco. As Kaotar grew into adolescence she would often challenge and debate her parents about what was proper and allowed. Although there are still disagreements Kaotar does not hold her parents’ views against them and has space to grow and be herself. Kaotar will start an internship at a kindergarten in the fall. Afterwards she plans to study psychology. She loves walking around the city and spending time with her closest friends.

The first thing many people remark about Kaotar after meeting her is that she is surprisingly open for someone that dresses religiously. It’s a response that she has gotten more times than is reasonable to count and I imagine becomes tiring. “Just because I wear my religion externally does not mean I am closed off to the world around me.”

Kaotar started wearing a hijab about six years ago when she switched schools going into the upper levels, which presented an organic opportunity to reinvent herself in the eyes of her new peers. Her parents never pressured her to do so – it’s a decision she made on her own. At first it took some time getting used to and she would start slow by maybe wearing it to Mosque or with family. Now it’s a part of her.

Kaotar’s advice to her younger self or other girls who grow up between worlds is to live for yourself – don’t live for other people’s expectations of you.

[33] Monday, June 14, 2021